FRUSTRATED!!!!!

This week has been sponsored by the word “FRUSTRATION”!

I have written a TON this week, but only managed to publish ONCE this week, UGH. I can’t seem to get OUT what I am trying to write. I have done the virtual wadding up the paper and throwing it in the garbage a million times this week.

FRUSTRATED!!!!!

And to pile even more frustration onto my already mountainous pile, I decided to weigh in this morning. My normal weigh in days are Monday, but I had a theory that Friday weighs ins may have a more pleasing result since I usually eat better and exercise more during the week. I was DEAD wrong. I’ve gained back what I lost in the last two weeks and I am back to square one. I’m throwing that damned scale away! Why do I care about the numbers anyway??!! Yes, the numbers quantify what is going on with my body, but its more than that.

I really do hate being negative nelly, seems like all I do is complain anymore. But I need to VENT today!!!! You forgive me…right???

I am question everything I do now. Since I quit eating meat, I have gained….not lost. I must be eating worse than I did when I was a carnivore. Nutrition bores and confuses me. I practically slept through Nutrition 101 in nursing school. I don’t count anything….carbs, calories, fat, protein….nothing. I eat by intuition, whatever I happen to be craving. I try to balance a meal with a protein, carb, veggie. But I’m almost certain my diet is very carb heavy….always has been. I ❤ carbs!

I feel like I should seek professional help from someone who actually enjoys analyzing diets….um, like a nutritionist. In a perfect world I would, but I really can’t afford even just a quickie consult, le sigh! Guess I will actually have to put forth effort and at least log my food and let the computer analyze my diet.

I am also questioning my training. Am I over training my body and its in total shock all the time and holding on to fat and calories for dear life? Or am I under training and it’s a simple matter of calories in – calories out?

I’m such a mess right now! A bloated, frustrated, HOT mess! On the outside I may still look the same, everyone says “oh you look great!” But I don’t feel great. I want to FEEL GREAT again! This isn’t (completely) about body image issues, its more about how I feel, and I just don’t feel good.

Help me find a positive way to get through this, because right now, I just muster an ounce of positivity.

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